Ask any actor and they’re very likely to share a common nightmare. They’re standing in the wings, ready to go on, when it suddenly dawns on them—they don’t know their lines. They’re about to step into the spotlight, in front of everyone, and they’re going to make a fool of themselves. That dream relates to performance anxiety.
Actors get this dream all the time, whether they’re “in something” or “resting.” But so do other people.
Maybe you’re a salesperson walking into a client meeting, or you’ve got to speak in a big team presentation, or maybe you’re just heading out on a hot date. The exact form of humiliation varies. Maybe you forget your lines, forget what you’re doing, forget what you’re selling. Maybe you’ve spilled coffee all over yourself. Or, horror of horrors—you’re standing there stark naked, and the show must go on.
And that’s just the dreams. These feelings don’t only haunt you when you sleep. They creep in well before the big moment. From the second you know you’ve got to do something, those niggling doubts begin. That oh-so-helpful little voice whispers:
“You can’t do this. You’re going to fail. It’s going to be awful. You should just run away. Remember, this is performance anxiety talking.”
What’s Going On?
This is anxiety. More specifically, performance anxiety—the fear that something bad will happen, and you won’t be able to handle it. It’s your fight-or-flight response kicking in.
Fight. Flight. Freeze. Flinch. Four reactions controlled by your sympathetic nervous system, all designed to protect you. And here’s the thing: it’s perfectly normal. Your mind and body are working exactly as they were designed to.
The problem? They were designed for a world that no longer exists.
The Caveman Brain
As humans, we like to think of ourselves as the pinnacle of evolution. But let’s be real—some of our brain’s most important systems were built for survival, not success.
I tend to think about this in terms of our distant ancestors. Not cavemen, we’ll get to them in a minute—let’s wind the clock back a few million years, back to the time of the dinosaurs. Now, before you get confused, I’m not suggesting that humans walked with dinosaurs. No, way back then our mammal ancestors were much more humble than that. Picture something small, a bit like a pygmy shrew. A tiny little creature with a tiny little brain, mostly dedicated to three things:
- Find food.
- Find a mate.
- Don’t get eaten.
These little guys were basically popcorn for velociraptors. Their best bet for survival was a highly sensitive threat-detection system. The slightest sound, the smallest movement—panic first, figure it out later.
Back to the tribe
Fast-forward millions of years. And we’re back with our early human ancestors, huddled together in a cave waiting for the Ice Age to end. The cave isn’t exactly comfortable. The beds are made of rock, after all, but it’s a lot warmer than outside. The only problem? Every other creature in the neighbourhood is thinking the same thing. And some of them have big teeth. So guess what? you still need to find food, find a mate, don’t get eaten … oooh and don’t get thrown out of the tribe
Being a valued part of the tribe is life or death. You need a role—hunter, gatherer, toolmaker, storyteller—because if they kick you out, you’re done for. So the fear of failure? Of rejection? It makes sense. It’s survival.
So back to us, here we are in the modern world. Fancy clothes. Nice homes (if we’re lucky). Fast cars. Mobile phones. Social media. For most of us, there’s no life-or-death danger. But that old survival system? It doesn’t know that.
Instead, with performance anxiety, we panic about a presentation the same way we’d panic about being eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger.
What Can You Do About performance anxiety?
First, acknowledge it. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was built to do.
Second, recognise the choice. At the moment anxiety kicks in, you have two options:
- Follow the fear. Let it take over.
- Accept that you feel anxious—and get on with it anyway.
Sounds easy, right? But how do you actually do that?
Start With Your Breath
I can almost guarantee that when performance anxiety hits, your breathing becomes shallow, fast, and high in your chest. That’s your sympathetic nervous system preparing you to fight or run.
So, take control of it.
- Breathe in slowly through your nose. Fill your lungs. Let the breath drop down into your belly.
- Hold it for a moment.
- Then let it out—very, very slowly.
The slower you exhale, the more you’ll relax. It may take practice, but it works. Because this isn’t just “positive thinking”—it’s science. Your body has an automatic way to calm itself, and this is how you activate it. And here’s another bit of science: it’s not possible to be stressed and relaxed at the same time, so by simply focusing on your breath, you’re actively reducing your stress levels. So just by breathing, you’re reducing your stress levels.
Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy (CBH) Can Help relieve performance anxiety
Right now, performance anxiety is running a script in your head—one you probably learned long ago. A script that says, “I can’t do this. I’ll fail. I’ll make a fool of myself.” The good news is, that script can be rewritten.
CBH helps in three key ways:
- Identifying the Root Fear – What’s really behind your anxiety? Fear of failure? Of being judged? Of rejection? By exploring this, you can separate what’s a real concern from what’s just an old, unhelpful belief.
- Teaching Relaxation Techniques – When you’re anxious, your body goes into survival mode. CBH helps train your mind and body to access relaxation on command, so you can keep your cool in high-pressure moments.
- Retraining Your Inner Voice – That critical inner monologue isn’t the truth—it’s just a habit. With hypnosis, we can replace those automatic negative thoughts with more useful, reinforcing messages. Instead of “I’m going to fail,” your mind learns to say, “I’ve got this.”
Performance anxiety isn’t about ability. It’s about perception. CBH helps you shift that perception—so you can step forward with confidence.
Want More Practical Tips?
If this resonated with you, sign up for my newsletter below for more insights, tools, and strategies to help you manage anxiety, improve confidence, and navigate your own path forward.
