In my previous post, I introduced W⁵: The Five Ws of Change—a structured approach to navigating personal growth and transformation. If you missed it, W⁵ is designed to help you break through uncertainty and take meaningful steps toward change. Now, we begin with the first and most fundamental question: what is it you truly want? Before change can happen, you need clarity. Without a clear goal, progress is directionless. In this post, we’ll explore how to define your goals effectively, using the science of habit change, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy (CBH), and set SMART goals to set yourself up for success.
The first W: What is it you truly want?
Now, I’m no genie in a lamp granting free wishes, but I do believe that with effort, almost anything you want to achieve is possible—as long as your goals are realistic. However, there are a few caveats to that, and in this article, we’ll explore goal setting—how defining a goal can help guide you through the changes you want to make in your life.
I often describe Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy as goal-focused therapy. That might sound obvious, but therapy is often thought of as an open-ended process, akin to confession or psychoanalysis—examining life in minute detail to understand how the past has shaped your present. CBH, on the other hand, is focused on making change happen, and change can happen rapidly when approached correctly.
If you’re considering therapy, it’s likely because there’s something in your life you’d like to change. Maybe there’s a habit you want to stop or a behaviour you want to change. I always say that change begins when you start looking into ways to help you get to where you want to go.
The power of habit and self-improvement
At its core, the brain is a habit machine. It creates patterns of behaviour based on repetition, making it easier to repeat what we’ve done before rather than forge new pathways. This is why breaking an old habit or forming a new one takes conscious effort—until it becomes second nature. Understanding this process is key to making lasting changes.
Whether it’s doomscrolling, cooking a favourite meal, or reciting great poetry, every new skill we learn becomes a habit through repetition—moving from effortful and challenging to automatic and effortless. Think about when you first learned to drive: at the start, just keeping the car moving in a straight line felt impossible. But with practice, you no longer have to think about it.
Or take piano playing. Back in the lockdown days, when we had all that time on our hands, I started playing again. When I first picked it up, even finding the right keys was difficult. But with practice and repetition, over time sight-reading at Grade 4 or 5 became second nature.
Psychologists describe habit formation as a loop made up of three key parts: cue, routine, and reward. The cue is the trigger that starts the habit, the routine is the behaviour itself, and the reward is the outcome that reinforces it. Over time, this loop becomes automatic, making habits effortless to repeat. This is why breaking a habit requires disrupting the cycle—either by changing the cue, modifying the routine, or shifting the reward. Likewise, forming a new, positive habit means deliberately reinforcing the cycle until it becomes second nature. The good news? The brain is remarkably adaptable, meaning that with repetition and the right strategies, change is always possible.
This is how all habits form—both good and bad. Remember, habits in themselves aren’t positive or negative—it’s their impact on your life that defines them.
- Want to cultivate a positive habit like running regularly?
- Want to stop a negative habit like grinding your teeth?
The starting point for any self-improvement journey is always the same: setting a clear goal.
Set SMART goals: turning “I want” into personal development
If you decide to work with me we’ll spend a significant part of the first consultation setting a goal for therapy. And we won’t just pick any goal—we’ll ensure it’s a SMART goal. If you work in an office it’s likely you have come across this acronym before. probably when setting your objectives as part of your performance review. SMART goals were developed as a framework for goal-setting in the 1980’s. The aim is to have a precise understanding of the expected outcome from whatever project you set yourself to do.
This means making sure your goal is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. Why? Because vague goals lead to vague results. A goal like “I want to be happier” is hard to measure, but ”I want to wake up feeling well-rested and motivated five days a week” gives us something clear to work towards. SMART goals help break down change into manageable steps, making progress tangible and keeping you motivated along the way. It’s not just a corporate framework—it’s a way of thinking that ensures real, lasting change.
So let’s go through the acronym and see how it applies to hypnotherapy.
S – Specific
Imagine you come to me and say, “My life is rubbish. I want to feel better.” That’s understandable, but it’s too vague. We’ll need to get more specific and go into the details. What exactly does “better” mean for you? Are you feeling anxious in social situations? Do you want to improve your sleep? Do you want to feel confident speaking in meetings? Is your acting career not progressing how you would like? The clearer your goal is, the more achievable it becomes.
For example:
- “I want to stop biting my fingernails.”
- “I want to feel confident when my agent calls to say I have an audition.”
- “I want to give a presentation without being stressed for three days beforehand.”
Being specific also allows me to be honest about whether I can help you. At this stage, it is important to say that as a hypnotherapist my sphere of competence covers sub-clinical issues, such as social anxiety, mild depression and habit changes. If your goal requires specialist knowledge, such as addiction treatment or medical concerns, I will always recommend seeking treatment with properly qualified specialists. I will write a post about sphere of competence very soon. Why not sign up for my newsletter and I’ll let you know when I’ve posted it.
M – Measurable
How will we know if you’re making progress? Measuring change is essential, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. If we’re working on fear of public speaking, for instance, we will start by measuring your anxiety level before a meeting on a scale from 1 to 10. If it drops from an 8 to a 3 after a few sessions, we know we’re on the right track. If your goal is to stop grinding your teeth, we might track how often you catch yourself doing it each day. CBT is an evidence-based modality of therapy and a lot of what you will be doing between sessions is gathering evidence and data so we can measure your improvement over time.
A – Achievable
Your goal should be something that is possible given your current circumstances. Can you stop biting your nails? Absolutely. Can you walk into a pub without feeling like everyone is staring at you? Definitely. Can I hypnotise you into loving a job you hate? Probably not—but I can help you manage stress and explore your options with more clarity. Is it possible with your current resources? If not, then perhaps your goal needs to encompass the initial steps you need to take to get started on your larger goal.
R – Realistic
I love ambition, but hypnosis isn’t magic. If you ask me to hypnotise you to become a Hollywood star overnight, I won’t lie to you – it probably won’t happen. However, I can help you address performance anxiety, build confidence, and remove mental blocks that stop you from giving your best in auditions. Those are realistic goals that can set you on a realistic path to success.
T – Time-bound
Setting a time frame gives your goal urgency. If you want to feel more confident meeting casting directors in six weeks, we can set milestones and work toward that. If you tell me you have a flight tomorrow and want to erase your fear of flying in one session, that might not be realistic. Change happens within a timeframe that allows for proper reinforcement. From the moment you set a goal, we’re on the clock—working towards a clear endpoint.
CBH is a brief form of therapy. Most clients usually require 4-6 sessions to acquire the skills that sets them on a path to achieving success. This means that you should very quickly start to notice the changes happening in your life.
The Role of Hypnosis and Motivation
Hypnosis can be a powerful tool for change. It helps you bypass mental roadblocks and reinforce new patterns of thinking that align with your personal development goals. When combined with motivation techniques, it allows for quicker and more sustainable progress.
Many people struggle to change habits because their motivation fluctuates. The key is to build consistent, automatic behaviours that don’t rely on motivation alone—this is where CBH and hypnosis can make a real difference.
Making Goal-Setting Playful
The title of this post is “what do you truly want”. So far it’s all been a bit bureaucratic, like filling out a form. But goal setting doesn’t have to be dry or mechanical. It’s important we focus on helping you achieve what you really want
One of my goals as a therapist is to help people rediscover their innate playfulness. And that’s where my background in acting comes in. Way back in drama school, the late, great Jean Hart taught us Stanislavski’s system—the foundation of all variations of method acting. He was the first to introduce the idea of objectives for actors. In his system, objectives:
- Should be active.
- Should be achievable.
- Should be realistic.
Sound familiar? It’s almost identical to SMART goals
Later, David Mamet and William H. Macy developed Practical Aesthetics, refining this concept. They argued that a good objective should be:
- Active – It’s something you do, not just something you “feel.”
- Playable – It should be something you can act out in a scene.
- Fun to do – Because acting should be play.
And this is where goal setting meets performance. If your goal feels like a burden, it’s harder to achieve. But if we frame it in a way that makes it engaging, enjoyable, and energising, it lights up your brain and makes progress easier. So if you set smart goals that excite and engage you, you are far more likely to complete them.
A final thought on goals
The science of habit change shows that achieving small, manageable goals builds momentum, making it easier to tackle bigger challenges. Likewise, breaking down what seems impossible into smaller steps transforms it into something achievable over time.
When setting goals for hypnotherapy, you may have a big, long-term objective in mind. But think of Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy as teaching you the first step—helping you build the habit of habit change.
Mastering this process means that growth doesn’t stop when therapy ends. You develop the ability to keep evolving, adapting, and overcoming obstacles—long after you’ve achieved your initial goal.
Your next steps
This is the first W of my W⁵ approach—and I’ll be covering the rest in upcoming posts.
Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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