A new year begins. Suddenly the gyms are full of people embarking on a new fitness routine. Social media fills with declarations about giving up smoking, drinking less, eating better. Many people decide to make new year resolutions. The question is always how long those resolutions last.
If you’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution that fizzled out by February, you’re not alone. But here’s what I want you to know: the problem isn’t you. The problem is that resolutions, by their nature, are often a spur-of-the-moment decision lacking planning and guidelines for how to keep going. They’re all or nothing. They’re a destination without a map. What if, instead of another resolution, you focused n new year intentions – and backed it with SMART goals that actually work?
The Weight of “Should”
One of the first challenges I face working with new clients is helping them move from a desire for change to defining clear, measurable goals and a plan to execute it. Often, resolutions come from the thought “I should change something in my life.” They’re focused on matching external standards – drinking less, stopping smoking, losing weight. Often they’re about how other people see us, not how we want to feel.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change. But when the energy behind that change is “should” rather than genuine longing, we’re already navigating by someone else’s compass. And that makes it much harder to stay the course when things get difficult.
New Year Resolutions vs Intentions: What’s the Difference?
Here’s the difference: a resolution is one big problem. “I will lose two stone.” “I will stop smoking.” “I will get fit.” It’s all or nothing. You’ve either done it or you haven’t. And until you’ve completely achieved it, you’re failing.
Setting an overall intention works differently. It helps us find the small wins that, step by step, help us to keep moving forward. An intention is like naming your destination – “I want to look good when I go on holiday” – but it invites you to break the journey down into small achievable steps.
That single intention might include: eating more healthily, building an exercise habit, perhaps getting enough sleep so your skin looks better, or finding clothes that make you feel confident. Each of these is a separate goal requiring its own plan and its own small steps. And each small step is a win. Each time you choose the salad, go for the walk, get to bed on time – you’re moving in the right direction. You’re succeeding, not failing.
This is the work that most people skip. They set the resolution – the all-or-nothing demand – and then wonder why they’re not getting there. But you can’t navigate to a place without identifying the routes that will take you there. And often, there isn’t just one route. There are several, running parallel, each needing attention.
The good news is that you don’t have to tackle all of your new year resolutions at once. In fact, you shouldn’t. But knowing what the different goals are – seeing the whole map – helps you decide where to start. And it means that every small action becomes evidence that you’re capable of change, rather than a reminder of how far you still have to go.
Why Resolutions Fail (And It’s Not About Willpower)
Past experience of failed resolutions means that often we expect to fail, even at the outset. Our nervous system remembers. It’s learned that “New Year, new me” usually ends in disappointment. So even as we’re making grand declarations, there’s a quiet voice underneath saying, “Yeah, but you won’t keep this up.”
Here’s what I always explain to clients: hypnotherapy isn’t a magic wand. Real change takes planning, consistency, and practice. Whether you’re setting goals for your career or your personal life, the process remains the same. As do the hurdles that need to be overcome.
The good news? By setting realistic goals with a plan for success, we can help build the confidence to make further changes. We’re not relying on willpower alone – we’re working with the way our minds and bodies actually learn new patterns.
Setting SMART Goals for Lasting Change
If you know where you want to go, the next step is to draw a proper map. This is where setting SMART goals comes in – not as corporate jargon, but as a genuinely useful tool for turning vague hopes into achievable reality.
Specific: What exactly do you want to change? “Get fitter” is a direction, but it’s not a destination. “Go to the gym three times a week” or “walk for 30 minutes every morning” – now we’re getting somewhere.
Measurable: How will you know you’ve done it? This isn’t about perfectionism – it’s about being able to track your progress and notice when you’re moving forward. Can you tick it off? Can you look back and see evidence of the change?
Achievable: Is this something you can actually do, given your current circumstances? Not theoretically possible – actually, practically doable in your real life. If you’ve never run before, training for a marathon next month isn’t achievable. But a couch-to-5K programme might be.
Realistic: Be honest with yourself. What resources do you have? What time, energy, support? A goal can be achievable but still not realistic for where you are right now. And that’s okay. Better to set a smaller goal that you’ll actually keep than a grand one that sets you up to fail.
Time-bound: Over what timescale? Not “someday” or “eventually.” By when? Having a timeframe helps your brain understand that this is happening, not just something you’re thinking about.
Small Steps, Big Shifts
One of the biggest traps is the temptation to change everything at the same time. New diet, new exercise routine, new meditation practice, new career plan – all at once. It’s overwhelming. And when we’re overwhelmed, our nervous system goes into threat mode. Change starts to feel like danger.
It’s better to start with a change you’re sure you can make and stick to it. Build that foundation. Let your nervous system learn that change can feel safe, that you can trust yourself to follow through.
This is where small, practical steps become powerful. If the goal is to go to the gym more, make sure to get dressed in your gym clothes. That’s it. That’s the habit. Once that’s established – once getting into your gym kit feels automatic – it becomes easier to add on the next step. Actually leaving the house. Then actually going to the gym. Then actually working out.
You’re not building willpower. You’re building a pathway. Each small action is a stepping stone, and each stepping stone makes the next one easier to reach.
Here’s something else that happens: those small habits start to support each other. If you go to the supermarket after you’ve been to the gym, it becomes easier to choose food that supports your desire to eat more healthily. You’re already in that mindset. You’ve already done something that aligns with caring for yourself. The next choice feels like a natural continuation, not a separate battle of willpower.
Planning for when You Stumble (And You Will)
Here’s the truth: you will have days when you don’t follow through. Days when the plan falls apart. Days when you think, “See? I knew I couldn’t do this.”
But stumbling isn’t failing. It’s part of the journey. The difference between a resolution that lasts and one that doesn’t isn’t whether you have perfect consistency – it’s whether you can find your way back to the path after you’ve wandered off it.
Be kind to yourself when this happens. Notice what got in the way. Was the step too big? Was there something you didn’t plan for? What do you need to adjust? This isn’t evidence that you’re not capable – it’s information about what needs to shift.
You Already Know
If you’re reading this article, perhaps you already know what changes you want to make. That’s what new year intentions are really about – not grand declarations, but getting clear on what you actually long for. What would make you feel more like yourself. What would give you a sense of moving forward rather than staying stuck.
If you need help getting clear on that, I’ve written a series of posts that walk through five key questions: what do you want to do, why do you want to do it, what’s stopping you, what needs to change, and what will you do now? Working through these questions can help you identify not just what you want, but the specific, achievable goals that will get you there.
You can make those changes. Not through force or willpower or punishing yourself into compliance. But through clarity, planning, and small consistent steps that your nervous system can learn to trust.
Break the changes down into individual steps. Make those steps specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. Start with the smallest action that will point you in the right direction. Build from there.
You don’t need a magic wand. You need a map, a compass, and the willingness to take one step at a time. You already have all of those things.
Wondering how cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy might help you turn new year intentions into lasting change? That’s what I’m here for. Get in touch and we can talk about what a sustainable plan might look like for you.
